I knew I was in a tank in the game because my screen had gauges and dials on it and if I pushed a button then my cannon would shoot. Now that you can’t really move or do anything aside from turn your head back and forth and look at sand while aware of the fact that you’ll be dead soon, congratulations! You’re playing the real life version of Super Battletank 2!
Once that’s done, have them carry your limbless body inside of that refrigerator box to a public park and get them to put it down in a sandbox. Now have them throw your armless legless mass inside a refrigerator box with a small window cut out in the front. But then I went and did something dumb like play the game.Īssuming you have some, cut off your legs. It was going to be the best SNES gaming experience ever. It didn’t have the word “baseball” anywhere near it, and I had vivid fantasies of rolling around and crushing and blasting and hollering with my super battletank. Suffice it to say, I was hyped to play this game. I’m thinking about selling that one to make room for a boat.” “Oh, this old thing? Just one of my super battletanks. They have like 12 super battletanks parked in their driveway, no big deal. Super battletanks are old hat to them now. Maybe by now you’ve come to kind of comprehend that you’re going to be driving SUPER BATTLETANK and then they hit you with the “2.” It’s Super Battletank 2. Holy shit! So better than a regular tank, and better than a battletank, it’s a fuckin’ SUPER BATTLETANK! Fuck! How can you even contain your excitement at this moment in time? Why aren’t you pissing all over the place? You should drink something, you look tired. Shit! A BATTLETANK!īut then just when you’re calming down from hearing the news that you’re going to be driving a BATTLETANK, there’s more: it’s a SUPER BATTLETANK. I mean, I know tanks are already supposed to be used in battle, so the addition of the “battle” prefix must mean these tanks are like, optimized for battle or something. Tanks are pretty awesome, but what’s better than a tank? A BATTLEtank! A goddamned BATTLEtank. Like many SNES games I’ve had the “pleasure*” of reviewing, Super Battletank 2 had a promising name and concept.
Driving a tank isn't as glamorous as I'd hoped
0 kommentar(er)
